Fear
by Magicks and Vengeance
Summary: Anya has an encounter with Willow. This was one of my first W/Ay fics ever.


Notes: This could use some work, but I'm kinda proud of it. My third ever Wanka! Tells you Anya's POV, so you can either make Willow's up or wait to see if I write one using Willow's POV And please, attempt to enjoy!   
  
  
  
Anya bit her lip. She hated acting human. It was stupid. Humans weren't supposed to say what they thought. She usually disregarded that rule, but she felt that this time she should stay quiet. After all, by human standards, she had no right to say what she wanted. So she pretended not to watch as Kennedy flirted obnoxiously with Willow, and tried to push the redhead out of her mind.   
  
For a few hours the week before, complaining about Xander's date had made her content. If she couldn't complain about Willow's new 'friend,' she could at least complain about the man who left her at the alter. She had every right to complain about him, even if she slowly found herself not caring anymore.   
  
To anyone else, this may have been funny. About a year earlier, she'd worshipped Xander and his penis. She loved men. But today, she found herself wanting Willow. And she didn't realize that this was very, very strange, based on her past. What she did realize, though, was that even though she felt anything but human, and hated their stupid rules, she'd certainly started to become one. She hadn't been able to force herself on Willow like she had on Xander. And this frustrated her. Because this little girl, a slayer in training, was braver than she was. And she had ended up with what Anya had wanted, Willow's attention. She couldn't even bring herself to be convinced that it was because Kennedy had been oblivious about Tara, not because she had gotten weaker. In Anya's mind, she was well on her way to being a weak, weak human. And fear was holding her back. Life was anything but fair.   
  
She felt extremely relieved when Buffy called Kennedy and the other girls for training down in the basement. This meant that, unless Willow left, she'd be alone in the room with her. Not that she could bring herself to do anything, especially since Willow was with Kennedy. Anya sighed. Maybe this should have been a moment she had been dreading, instead of one that had filled her with relief.   
  
"Is something wrong?" asked the very familiar voice, ripping Anya out of her thoughts and causing her to look up. "Yes. Of course something's wrong," she stated. The redhead grinned. "Well, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to try to guess?" she asked, with a hint of amusement in her voice. "Why should you be concerned about me? This is the first time you've talked to me in three days," Anya commented. She had been right before, she should have been regretting this.   
  
Willow frowned. "This isn't about me, is it?" she asked. Then she shook her head. "No, you wouldn't be that upset about me not talking to you. It isn't Xander again, is it?" Anya sighed internally. Why wouldn't she be that upset? Well, she supposed it was true. Not seeing and talking to Willow was a lot less aggrivating. But it was about her... That was where she was wrong. "No, I'm done with Xander." The redhead gave her a puzzled look. "Then I guess you aren't telling me and I can't guess right. You obviously don't want me to know. But I'm sorry if me not talking to you has made you mad. I'll go now," she replied, and stood up to leave.   
  
"No!" Anya cried, causing Willow to freeze in her tracks, confused. "Don't go," she said quietly. As much as she wanted Willow to leave, she needed her to stay.   
  
So Willow went and sat down next to Anya now, instead of across the room, frowning. "Anya, are you sure you don't want to talk?" she asked, clearly concerned. Anya sniffed, trying to hold back her tears, cursing the emotions that once again proved that she was still part human. "Yes, I'm sure I don't want to talk. But I want you to stay," she whined desperately. She didn't want to sound whiny and pathetic, but she couldn't help it. "Anya." It was a statement, not a question. And although she was unsure what Willow meant by it, or if she was going to continue, Anya knew she had broke. Falling against Willow and clinging to the sleeves of her shirt, she cried into her shoulder. She was broke and now she'd cry, like a human. "Make it stop, Willow!" she demanded through her tears, shaking the other girl. "Make it stop..."   
  
Willow hugged her closer, and Anya had never felt safer. Yet she couldn't keep the sobs from wracking her body, and if possible, Willow hugged her tighter. They stayed like that for at least twenty minutes, as Anya slowly calmed down. Deep down, she knew she'd have to tell Willow at some point, after what she'd done for her. But there was no way she could do it now, here in the woman's arms. It just seemed too wrong to Anya.   
  
She lifted her head up, and looked at Willow, eyes gleaming and tear stains down her face. "You do know I wouldn't cry on just anyone, right?" she asked. If she couldn't tell Willow that she wanted her, she could at least let her know that she was something special to her. To her surprise, Willow smiled, and brought her hands to Anya's neck, holding up her chin with her thumbs, and kissed her forehead. Anya sighed, and Willow took the initiative to kiss both her cheeks. "Willow, what're you doing?" she whispered softly, half not caring because, damn, it was nice. "Shhh. You're okay?" Willow asked, resting her forehead on Anya's. She could feel her breath on her chin. "Yes... But I..." However she'd wanted to finish that, she wasn't sure she'd ever remember. In that moment, Willow pressed her lips against hers, a forceful yet soft and short kiss. One brief crash of lips, and Anya felt as if she couldn't breathe. But she returned the favor, and confirmed her approval by giving Willow the same kiss back. They stared into each other for a few moments, and then Willow smiled, and brought Anya in for a hug. Anya closed her eyes. She wasn't completely sure what was happening, but whatever it was, she could live with it.   
  
With Willow still hugging her, her face buried in her shoulder and neck, Anya opened her eyes and could see the stairs and the front door. There stood Kennedy, with fear in her eyes. 


End file.
